Communication With Your Children After Divorce
After divorce occurs and a parenting plan is set, many fathers still find themselves in a position where they are having a very hard time being able to communicate with their children consistently when they are with the Ex. This usually means that fathers can’t consistently speak with their children over the phone due to the interference of the Ex, though this can also mean that there are issues with just knowing what is going on in their children’s lives at school, with activities, and socially.
When it comes to the phone, it can be hard to get your Ex on board with following through on the courts orders that you have access to your children while they are in her care. If she is interfering, it can be hard to prove at times to the court. This can be frustrating, but don’t let your feelings get the best of you. Keep trying to consistently communicate with your children, but keep a record each and every time she interferes. It’s important that you keep your cool and keep trying, as you can then demonstrate to the court that you are doing everything you can within reason to follow the orders of the court and she is not.
Anther unfortunate thing to keep in mind is that Ex’s can and often do “poison” their children against their fathers, and this can happen to you. Your Ex can influence your child to the point where it is your child that stops communicating with you, and not necessarily the Ex that is directly preventing them. Remember though, you have court orders that you are to have regular access to your children, so it really isn’t your child’s choice whether or not you can speak with them on the phone or in any other way. While you don’t want to force a child who is really unwilling, you also have the right to know what is going on with them and to speak with them regularly. Again, keep your cool and record everything for use later on if it’s necessary.
Another aspect of communication is just knowing what is going on in the daily lives of your children, including school, extra curricular activities, and socially. You are entitled to have copies of all notes and letters sent home from the school and to know where and how your child is spending their times outside of school and home. Keep insisting on your rights to information and communication and then record whenever your rights are violated. You will have the record to following the courts orders and she won’t, giving you an edge in the future if necessary.